Cowboy's Humor
"The
future has been losing the wisdom of the past ever since the freeway bypassed
the corral."
"Behind every successful rancher is a wife who works in town."
...........An old Western proverb
"Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool
from any direction."
"A bronc rider should be light in the head and
heavy in the seat."
"Broke is what happens when a cowboy lets his yearnin's
get ahead of his earnin's."
"Any cowboy can carry a tune. The trouble comes when he tries to unload it."
"When in doubt, let your horse do the thinkin'."
"When a cowboy's too old to set a bad example, he hands out good
advice."
"Worry is like a rockin' horse. It's something
to do that don't get you nowhere."
"Poor is having to sell the horse to buy the
saddle."
"You are welcome here, do as you please. Go to bed when you want to, and
get up at your ease. You don't have to thank us or laugh at our jokes. Say what
you like, you're one of the folks."
...........A welcome sign at a Wyoming Guest Ranch
A Cowboy's Guide To
Life
From the book "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On! A Cowboy's Guide to
Life"
by
Visit the Gibbs Smith Publisher on line at www.gibbs-smith.com
Never kick a fresh cow pile on a hot day.
There's two theories to arguin'
with a woman. Neither one works.
Don't worry about bitin'
off more than you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
If you get to thinkin'
you're a person of some influence, try orderin'
somebody else's dog around.
Never ask a man the size of his spread.
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion
felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and
shot him. The moral: when you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
If you find yourself in a hole the first
thing to do is stop diggin'.
Never smack a man who's chewin'
tobacco.
It don't take a
genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a
haircut.
Never follow good whiskey with water, unless
you're out of good whiskey.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a
lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.
If you're ridin'
ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still
there.
When you give a lesson in meanness to a
critter or a person, don't be suprised if they learn
their lesson.
When you're throwin'
your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is
a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back.
Always take a good look at what you're about
to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know
what it was.
The quickest way to double your money is to
fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
A smart aleck just don't fit in a saddle.
Never miss a good chance
to shut up.